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goodbye again!   
06:32pm 25/02/2007
  hello! and goodbye. I'm catching a train on tuesday to ontario. I'll be gone for a month or two. I'v got a few shows booked along the way with the wonderful trio of Shayne avec i grec, Jeff Andrew and Hannah Bean. myspace is probably the best way to keep track of us... if you look for meg iredale, you'll find me. or you can email me if you want! I'd like that... gemiredaleAT hotmail dot com. hope your all well!! 
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goodbye cold eastern land!   
02:31am 31/10/2006
mood: asleep

It's 2 and a half in the AM, on my last night/morning before getting on the train... I dunno if I would say the train is bound for glory... but bc sounds pretty nice right now. I'm way to tired and brain dead to try and sum anything up.... my last days in pete were a bit mixed, though I miss it now like you miss music when you don't own the album.... toronto was/is fun aswell, seeing zoe again, wandering the streets in the middle of the night again, (infact! I just got in about 20 minutes ago from such things...) the green room nachos and lousy hot chocolate, the bloody miracles show at the tranzac, kensington market, fancy breaky's jamming with graham christian zoe and adam late into the night, Kevin quain tonight at graffiti's, playing Everybody Wants to be a Cat. really it's all just fun and games... today we bought food for the train. The Rations! how dull... tomorrow I will awake (or today i spose..) in about 4 hours, and dress as a train robber, hop on the subway and onto the train, which i will not get off again for quite some time. sioux lookout i believe is the first stop, 300 or so Km from thunder bay, so close and yet so far one might say. i'll be seeing you all in a week or so. 
O'mally out

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feel like i should.   
02:16am 22/10/2006
  well, I guess it's been a while, and because I know your all just so rivited by my entries..... haha, oh dear. I'm in ottawa, can't sleep right now though my eyes are burning. it's a quarter past 2 in the morning in my aunts basement, not that you can ever tell down here. the windows are tiny and don't really let any light in. I broke my sleeping in record here in fact it's so dark. tomorrow, or the next day, adam and i will be off to peterborough, so he can meet all the zany folks who live there, and we can do nothing, or everything we want for a bit. we'll be on the train home in a week if our plans don't change. or a week and a day i spose. we'll be on the train for halloween, which kinda sucks, but we were thinking of going as train robbers and trick or treating the passengers on the train... so it could be really fun. I was in quebec city this week, spent three days there staying with a freind and wandering all around the streets in the rain. it was really nice... quebec city's so pretty. (as is the girl I stayed with, which made it even prettyer....) right, but adam arrived on the last day there, at some insane hour in the morn, I think 6 it was when he rang the buzzer to kriss's room, and we let him in and went back to sleep for a few hours. got up again a bit later and went for tea/breakfast though only adam ate, before getting on the train back to ottawa. we got in at 6 30 and my aunt kirstie met us and took us out for a big dinner at the green door, mmmm, so good! today we got a ride down the the market from kirstie, had breakfast at zaks 24 hour breakfast place, and bought cheese, maple syrup and flowers for janey and kirstie... hehe, the cheese is disgustingly good... anyhow, i think i might be able to sleep now, the dehumidifyer just went off... so goodnight internet world, I'll seeyou tomorrow on the bus scheduelle page!  
midnight inspiration   
09:47pm 13/10/2006
mood: hungry
hello folks, I'm posting a longish storyish thing I scribbled some days ago not sure when in my journal, feel free to read it, and fell free not to.

Walking into Sandy’s all night convinience store, tound about midnight, small town Ontario night, late September and it’s getting cold. Red touque on her head, old converse sneakers falling aprt and too big, black cordoroy pants mens, too big, hanging low. Got short hair poking out from under her touque, looks like a dyke. Tall, not sure how tall, near 6 feet? Putting her bare fingers, red from cold on the counter and drumming her callouses on the hard surface. The rest of her hands covered by fingerless whool gloves. She smiles at the eyes that judge her from behind the counter - over the top of a magazine, as she shifts the weight of her guitar from one shoulder to the other. The girl behind the counter gives the dyke girl a halfhearted skeptical smile, more a twitch of one corner of her mouth. Her dark red painted lips looking like plastic as the catch the florescent aimed at the counter. She’s off shift in half an hour; this will be her first costumer of the night.

Dyke girl coughs into one of her mits and asks "could I get a five dollar phone card, some rolling papers and a lighter?" the sandy’s convienience minamum wager gives a little irritated snort and rolls her eyes. "Let me guess, BC?" her voice is more synical than one person should be capable of. She pulls out a c.c. phone card from under the counter, reaches behind her without looking for a pack of zigzags, and motions with her chin towards a lighter stand beside dike girl’s hand. The hand jumps as If alapped, then takes it’s time picking the last red lighter out. "It’s been a long day." She says, as though apologizing for being another un-observant bimbo.

She feels like telling the cashier girl that she hadn’t noticed the lighters because she was too caught up admiring the confidence and comfortability with which the other girl moved behind the counter. She knows that cashier girl hates her job, thinks she’s got it pretty bad. For a second she thinks longingly of her job back home in BC, -cahsier girl had been right in her guess. The comfort of stability never seems so appealing as when you are on the road for months on end, just as the freedom of the road calls, yells, screams, pleads, begs, demands, grabs your leg and pulls you when you find yourself entrounced in something that grows more mundane each four hour shift.

She thinks this and says nothing, as cashier girl rings up her things wit her black painted nails. The till hand finaly demanded that she step into the floresent light, making her squint her heavily painted clack eyelids, bring a frown to her dark lips, just incase whomever was looking missed it on her face, the cashier’s black ripped tee-shirt said GOTH. Dyke girl began smiling, and couldn’t hide it; goth girl looked at her with eyes that said no one should ever laugh in this place. "What?" she said with a curl of her lip, white teeth contrasted heavily with the rest of her. Dyke girl had never been good at holding her tounge, ‘ahh, haha, umm, just you’v got so much paint on you, and your so pretty that I feel like hanging you on my wall…." She trailed off laughing at the blank look she was getting.. "don’t worry… she continued, I havn’t got one…" she grinned "a wall I mean… nevermind." She grapped her rollies, phone card and lighter, stuffed it all into her pocket along with her change, fingers too cold to sort through it.

At the door she turned, still trying to suppress laughter. She looked into the goth girl’s blue etes that were screened by blond hair dyed black. "I’m gonna call home from the phone booth out there," she pointed into the first few drops of rain that night to a glowing booth, "then I’m gonna smoke a joint round back, if you come out, bring some munchies…"

She opened the heavy glass door with her shoulder, ducking to avoid hitting the head of guitar on the doorframe, and was back in the night. The rain reflected the street lights beautifully as they zoomed downwards. Dyke girl let her eyes follow them to the ground, and let her eyelids do the same as far as they could. She didn’t need to see the phone booth, it hummed with neon so loud and bright any blind person could find it. She stepped inside leaning her head on the cold dirty glass, the phone held there between her cold cheek and her shoulder. Fumbling in her pocket she pulled out everything she had just put in, along with some pocket lint and guitar picks. Fingers slow and numb; she slotted a quarter and dialed the phone card number. She did bother to put away the rollies or the light, just held them loosly in her hand as the dial tone turned into a ring. The recorded womans voice started- "Please enter your language numb-" beep, she pressed one for english. Thinking how the three-hour time change made it a little past 9 at her parents’ house. "Please enter the number of the party you are call-beep" she used her left ring finger to punch in the number she had grown up owning, as it rang she closed her eyes feeling a bit of rain on her eyelash, she was cold, tired and couldn’t wait to be high. The phone clicked, "Hello?"

"Hi mom."

plans come crashing down around my head.   
03:28pm 10/10/2006
mood: bleargh
Ugh. with a capitol ewe.  sooooo where to begin. well. I am not going to halifax. Danielle won't be driving up, so that makes it an overnight train ride that's not too cheap, as well as getting to quebec city which isn't cheap on it's own. that was a bummer. than adam phoned today, woke me up this morning actualy, and I have a sore throat headache cough stuffy nose cold. he called and says that he's kinda tired, and doesn't really want to stick around on the east coast much longer, and was wondering if I'd thought about maybe not going up there... which I had, so I mulled it over and realized he was right and it was kinda pointless and silly, so much travelling for such a short time up there. so he's heading back down to quebec. where we'll meet up, and hopefuly have lunch with sves?!?! sves?? I'll call her maybe. yes. and then we will come back to ottawa for a couple days, and head to pete. have a week to do as we please in pete or toronto, or belleville... we'll see. and then I have hte possibility of a craigslist ride from toronto to thunder bay, but adam wouldn't fit... so we'll see about that. all in all it makes better sense, but it's dissapointing. ah well. theres always next year, really soon. yeah, so I think I'll be home in less than a month. or there abouts anyhow. feels wierd. not sure I like it. actualy I really want a bean around the world sandwich so it's all good. I gota go fold my nana's umbrellas now  though. toodaloo
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12:43pm 05/10/2006
mood: caffinated
Shit fucker dude man! ahahaha... oh dear.
I recorded yesterday, for hours, it was fun and now I have no voice. James Kent is fun to play with though. I'm gonna be on an indie pop album! ya! singing cheesy backup harmonies, as kevis says, oh your that girl who sings in minor thirds. YEAH! hahaha. right, so I'm leaving pete in a few hours, four hour bus ride to ottawa, hopefuly all goes a lot more smoothly than from toronto, though I don't see why it would. I bought a wrench before coming ot hte library though. so maybe it will. I'v spent the last three days feeling incredibly content, hanging out at the spill, argueing for hours on end with james, talking to dave tohby bout everything.... I spent 4 hours sitting in the willows writing a song. if I finish it before halloween I get it recorded free by jonas, who's the guy who recorded james and I yesterday. Yay indie! oh man. I'm so tired, maybe when I get to Kirsties I'll sleep for a couple days. only I can't cause I'm driving to pembroke tomorrow ot be with the fam for thanksgiving. madness. I'm only going to be in ottawa for a week I realised, if that.  Not enough time for anything. so anyhow, I'v got to go take my bike apart now.
feels like home   
04:18pm 02/10/2006
mood: relaxed

yesterday was long. infact, I'm not sure even where to say that it began..... Saturday night never ended, and it bled right into sunday, whcih was long. Zoe and I were up all night on saturday, biking around downtown toronto, going into galleries and watching strange performances. La nuit blanche, the contemporary art thing. It was quite something. We left the house around 9pm, afterr loading up on fryed bannanas and coffee, biked down to queen street, locked our bikes, and wandered, feeling incredibly overwhelmed. Everything is so big there. all the buildings feel like their looking way down on you deciding weather or not to squish you... We met Graham at 2:30am, at the museum, and from there we went and found corn, roasted corn with lime and things on it, so damn good! best part of the night. and then it was 4am, so we headed to the reference library as there was free breakfast there at 6. we watched cat woman and some strange german silent film, I used the computers there too... so surreal,  the breakfast was disgusting... zoe and I were laughing hystericaly by that point though, so it didn't really matter... sometime around 7:30am, we biked back up bathurst hill in the gradually lightening sky, I couldn't even tell which was was east, it was dissorienting, it just went from brownygreyblack to brownygreywhite.  I could be kicked off this computer at any moment, but until I am I will continue my recounting. We did sleep for a couple hours when we got home, then got up and made tasty scrambled eggs with onnions, musherooms, tomatos and other good things. the day sorta just wasted away.... around 4 I went to the greyhound station to double check about my bike, and was told "yes we do have tools and bike boxes here, just arrive with enough time to get everything together... so back up to bathurst to get all my stuff, and back down again with zoe, we parted ways there, she going off to grahams for dinner, and me into the station... little did I know I would be there from 5:30 onwards! I was going to catch the 7:30 bus, and thought I had lots of time. so I went inside, with my bike, guitar and backpack, causing quite a lot of mayhem, and asked for tools. "we don't have tools... that's your problem" I was informed... an hour later I was still getting the same response, no, this bus station doesn't have within it, a wrench. It's a fucking bus station! there are busses, and they must fall apart! jeezus! so, I plugged the locker for my stuff, 8 dollars! fucking hell, that's most of my money I had in my wallet! and I stormed out with my bike, bikeing around looking for a gas station, which I found about 5 blocks away, on the other side of dundas square. I left my bike outside and went in to ask for a wrench. JUST ONE BLOODY WRENCH! the guy at hte service counter didn't speak english.... whats up with customer service people not speaking englsih!?!?!? ugh. so about 5 minutes later I managed to comunicte to him what I was after. and he says 'oh! tools?' YES! he hands me a wrench and I go back outside, flip my bike and start yanking it apart. It was about 7 o'clock at this point, getting dark and I was tired and angry. very angry. breathing in gas fumes, being stared at from every direction and fiddling with a bike I don't know was not fun. I got the front wheel off, and the back wheel without to much trouble, set them aside and started working at the handlbars, which wouldn't come out. quite rusty around the connecting part. so I hit them, a bunch, with the wrench, feeling like a maniac, and tada! they popped out, took the pedals off, stuffed them in my pockets, walked back inside with the wrench. the guy at the counter is looking at me like I'm crazy, and manages to comunicate to me that he's wondering how I'm going to get my bike anywhere now. I mime carrying it on my shoulder and smiile, he looked pretty stupified, which made me laugh a little manicaly which didn't help his impression no doupt. back outside I hoist the fram and bars on my shoulder, and grab the two loose wheels in the other hand and start walking up dundas to bay street and the bus station. I didn't get one freindly face on my way there, I felt like I must be terrifying... I marched straight into the bus depot and to the ticket counter, where the guy I'd been pretty harsh with signals that he doesn't want to deal with me, and to go to the next counter, happily!  She was freindly, and a biker, the first person who had wanted to help me since 5 o'clock! I had to buy a bike box. 10 freakin bucks for some cardboard, and she helped me fold it up. my face and hands were covered in bike grease and a bit of blood from cutting myself on the gears... I must have been quite a sight it's true. so this woman and I get the bike box together, at which point I'v missed my bus, but theres another one in an hour and a half, she goes back to her booth, and I go find the one other sympathetic lady in the terminal, who sneaks the box onto the bus for me free of charge (YUS! saved 25 bucks.) at 8:30 or so, I'm able to sit down and eat my sandwich. and 9 a guy named george walks in, who I had met in pete through david a couple weeks ago, from there till now I'v been pretty content.... but man! I slept well last night. hehe. anyhow, the bus ride I spent talking music and books with george, and dannielle picked me up on the other side, driving me and all my shit back to her place by trent, where I slept for the first full night, waking up around noon, putting my bike back together, and biking downtown along a really nice trail and straight to the spill for free coffee and a cookie. now I'm at hasteltons, where things are over priced and not very good, using free internet. peterborough feels almost like home. don't know how I feel about that. this plce could steal your soul away in a week! I'm working door tonight for a show at the spill, sounds like it'll be fun, and I get free dinner from food not bombs at city hall in an hour and a half. I think I'll go to the willows now. bye!

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03:03pm 29/09/2006
mood: grounding
I hurt. I am tired and sore most places at the moment. too many different couches, dancing, travelling and not sleeping. but it's okay, it's worth it by far. On wednsday I got a ride from pete to toronto with a really cool cat named dave tobhy, drove me right to a place where I could meet zoe, who took me to her place, showed me a bed, laundry and a shower, then had to run to school. I did laundry which was good, showered, even better, and slept for 3 hours which was the best. the night before I'd been on James Kent's couch, not sleeping because there was a metal band playing reggea above my head, and the night before had been rooftops, beer and suspicious closets with skipping leonard cohen music. I napped until it was dark, one of the most disorienting things, then I had dinner and went to bed! yesterday I got up late, spent hte morning figuring out joni songs, the zoe came home, and we went for coffee at a place called the distilery, really cool spot, used to be a distilery... oddly enough. we looked at all the crazy stuff that's happening tomorrow night, it's some crazy art night, stuff happening from 7 pm till 7 am, so there will be no sleeping involved tomorrow either, then we wandered the distillery area, as it's full of art galleries and things, went into three or four private functions, grabbed cheese and bread until someone noticed we were a little out of place and politely informed us we should go.... biked home, yeah, that's the other thing! I have my bike here, which is awesome. we made a huge dinner, really tasty, then biked over to grahams place where I met some of his roomates, including christian who came with us to the mr. something something concert. which was awesome! danced like crazy, talked to johan a bit.... christians one of my new favorite dancers. we ended up crashing at grahams place, after making a very complicated agenda that included wine, joints and pancakes.... these things are all round, and if done in the right order, you will pass the days seminar with flying colours, we all did, after studying our notes very carefully...  woke up a few times this morning, got up around 11 though, and went for breakys with graham and zoe, tasty food, before hitting a bike shop... then heading home, which is where I am now, just had tea and cookies! it's 6 o'clock I think, and we're going to a show tonight, can't remember who... but I will if their any good!
04:43pm 26/09/2006
mood: crazed and amazed
I was talking to pAn, one of hte hippys who's house I've been staying at, about how if you go out into the world looking for chances, and jumping on them, it will just keep providing. and it's true! man, so.... today was long, already. maybe because there was no sleeping involved really last night. I scored free dinner from food not bombs at city hall, James told me about it around 5pm at the spill so I biked up there for 6 o'clock, found my way in, and it smelled so good, I hadn't eaten really either. big quesidillas filled with cheese and corn and salsa and other good things. I ate it all up with a big slurp while sitting next to a man named timothy. He spent 15 years living on the west coast. about 15 years ago. really nice guy. He told me where I could get free food almost every night of the week in pete. It's really cool to see food not bombs really working. david met me there around 7, and we trundled back to the spill, (as I now get free coffee and cookies there...) where we decided we wanted danielle to be with us for our night on the top of the world. so we called her house, waking her up from a nap. She had flown from halifax at 3 in the morning... she came down to the spill around 8, and we raced to the black horse pub, dave won, being 6ft 4.... so dannielle bought a pitcher of beer (don't question the logic) and dave and I did a few songs. made one mortal enemy and a couple freinds. feeling like real teenager punks, we shotgunned the last of the beer and made a hasty departure into the night. racing again to some fence which we proceeded to hop... preteneding all the while that we were not up to no good. The fence led to a staircase which was a balancing act to climb, as it goes up with you. the staircase led to a wall, which we scaled with the help of drainpipes, this led to a rooftop over looking george st. at hunter. (the heart of downtown...) we proceeded in this fasion up walls and through windows and things, for the length of a block, down george st. the buildings here being all connected it's pretty cool. peering down peoples skylights and sometimes having to run when we made too much noise. we ended up on the tallest of the roofs, doing handstands and cartwheels and having spitting contests. which I won... yes yes. The way down was a little loud, as we were jumping great heights, and we ended up making a dash for the street... quite the thrill as we only just escaped. finding ourselves on aylmer st, we decided to peruse the night scene on hunter. only it was a drunken one and we were too hippy for their tastes so we left. we did strange dances on street corners, one of us on each side of the road, so when cars past, they couldn't not see us. we sat on a drain and chatted to everyone who walked by. at 2 or so we were cold, so we hopped in danielles car and rocked out to OLP all the way to her place, about and hour and 40 minutes to walk.. there we made tea and toast, and brought soft things to the grass. stargazing was confusing.... shooting stars a plenty. eventualy we got cold there too, and proceeded to the basement as quietly as possible, played music for a couple hours softly, then danielle slipped off to bed, leaving dave and I under the stairs with a foamie that was so comfy after sidewalks. all around us there were pipes trickling and humming things humming, so we jammed along for a while. got cold, stayed cold.... drifted in and out of sleep for an hour or too, both of us having wierd dreams, I dreamt of drowning in dishwater trying to serve my drunken neighbours in my own house... and dave dreamt of silver smithing failures that I supposedly was creating. giving up on sleep finaly when we heard music go on up stairs, such a strange mix, leonard cohen came on and we both groaned as we had (yes I admit it) performed hallelujah just hours before... only this morning it was skipping horribly and it fucked with my head. untouchable face followed, and then kevin queen (the guy who actualy wrote catch you in the rye) then we got up. dannielle had made us strange but tasty peanut butter and apple things which were warm and tasty, along with super good smoothie and coffee... around 11 she had to go to work, so we walked with her to water street, and said goodbye. david and I hitched in to town, getting a ride with a really nice guy in a really nice car listening to the beatles. he dropped us at the only (accross the street from last nights fence) and we walked to pans place. arriving in time to see pAn who had discovered a juicer in his closet, attempting to use it, but discovering that it had no blade... what a funny charecter. anyhow, we didn't stay long, just long enough for dave to say goodbye and pack up.... the rest of the day was odd, going to the bus station to buy davids ticket, going to the store to buy food, so tired too. eventualy we ended up at the spill, coffee helps everything... I discovered I have a free ride tomorrow to toronto, and am quite pleased by this fact. at 10 to two dave caught his bus to thunder bay. and he'll be on it till tomorrow at noon.... I'm going to miss jamming with that boy. and now I am being indesisive about what to do, which is why this entry is so long and boring. free food calls from two opposite ends of town, but neither are for sure, not free food calls from pAn's and the spill, as does a place to stay the night. instead I am sitting here typing in the library... I think I will stop. tomorrow I will be in toronto, and maybe I can become clean. it's been two weeks since I'v done laundry.... OOOH YAAAH!
the reason I started this entry was to mention that I now have a photo show booked in febuary at the spill, along with a recording oppertunity in feb, a place to stay for the month and gigs with james.... so it looks like maybe I'll be spending that month here. CaRaZy! yah.
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04:30pm 25/09/2006
mood: everywhere
so restless. so indesisive. so moody. this town. is so different, and so much the same. and I'v been here for a long time. a week and a half. it'll be almost two weeks when I leave. which is the day after tomorrow. I'm staying a wonderful house, full of hippies and hopefulls. with their intentional comunity's and organic raw foods. I want to love it, and revel in it. but it all seems so superfulous. their all so far gone into a dream which they realize only by denying the reality that they COULD try and coexist with, the one right outside their door, which drives by every morning on it's way to it's office job. man. I don't know why I can never beleive in these people. I always feel so frustrated, and un able to connect with them in a way. talked about all this yesterday with david, we seem to be on a level about it. hmm, david's leaving tomorrow, going ot thunder bay to be with his family.
I'm hoping my head wins this battle.
I'm tired.
slept late, woke up so happy, by the time I got up I was thinking about later and becoming confused. so I ate porrdige as I have every morning for the last week made for me by a smiling boy. these are the moments I want to remember. It's cold today, and yesterday, laughing all night and glad to have someone warm nearby.  quoting ginsberg and kerouac to the lava lamp out the window, and in the next room. spying on pan, talking about how pretty he is, and then telling him through the curtain of night that hangs beside the building. watching like a movie. the three worlds and then our own. people in a basement drinking scotch, smoking and singing ani so loud. pan and tiina reveling in their love. the lava lamp.... blub blub blub... warm arms, same length breaths. sleep is so unimportant when your content.
not that any of this will make sense to any of you. hehehe...
I'm excited, thinking about the intensity which each day presents when your time is short. thinking about how I could live like this even at home. thinking about halifax and the ocean less than a month away. thinking about ottawa and how I should be scared of it. it's size and that fact that I know no one. thinking about quebec and how the fuck I'm going to get there. thinking about long train rides on my own. thinking about getting home in different ways than we had "planned" thinking about brothers across the country, hoping things will flow this well the whole time. thinking about getting some lunch. thinking about coffee, maybe at the black honey, or maybe dreams of beans... or maybe the spill, talk to james. I have no voice left, and the harmonies to dave's songs stuck in my head.
I hung out with a bunch of metel heads last night. watched them rehears and was amazed at their tightness. and laughing at how much appreciation I could have for their music, and hour after jamming myself with peterborough's local sad bastard singing piano ballads... It made me happy. walking home past really good pizza, I ate the smell I swear!
On the river yesterday working on a song. in a tree, willow lovely.
this library computer is telling me I have 5 minutes left. so I will give it that to load all this...
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bikes, a gift from... someone.   
11:49pm 17/09/2006
mood: productive
i woke up this morning feeling lazy, it is sunday after all. so I took my time waking up, had a cup of coffee and peanut butter bannana toast, talked to jahn and claire, and listened to the bustle of the kids and their friend lauren who had slept over. we went for a walk a little later, the whole family and i, down dalhousie to the river, and to a cafe called the silver bean, where they had excellent cookies. accross the bridge to easat peterbrough, where john and the kids turned back. claire walked with me to the begginning of a trail that goes to the other side of town, (whcih it turns out is where I was yesterday) then I rode her bike with my guitar, down this trail for a couple minutes before spying in the tall grass beside the road, a bike! oh my oh my! I pulled over and peered around in the bushes, as the bike seemed to have all it's parts, so who would dump it? but no one there, and I look more closely at the bike to see rust around the handlpars and on the rim of the back wheel. so I pull it out of hte grass, and poke at it a bit, decide it's meant for me, as its all the right size and things. I took off the rear brake pads so the back wheel wouldn't rub. (the back wheel is toast unfortunatly) and ghost road it to the other side of town. where I foudn the tree where I'd been playing music yesterday, so I climbed it, was at least 15 feet out and 15 feet up in the wind. sooo exhilirating! then biked home, stoping along hte way when people asked whta I was doing, or if I needed help with the bikes and guitar... found out wehere a bike shop is, which will be my first stop tomorrow, and came home to lasagna and ceaser salad. with... wiiine. "being british *hiccup* I would have prefered... *hiccup* sherry!" though it's not true. I had a little helper as I sanded down the rusty rims to smooth them out. Rhy's want's to be a mechanic you see, and figures a bike's aaaalmost good enough to start learning with... anyhow, it's late here, so I'm off to dream of bikes.
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havin fun   
06:42pm 16/09/2006
mood: good.
allo folks. yes it's true, I am free! utterly care free. it's wondrous. maybe I will never come home.... hehe, yes I will, however! I will enjoy this to the extent that I am capable, which is a lot. I'm staying (currently) at an old freind of my dad's place, John Climenhage, an excellent artist, you should look him up, and also just a great guy, (along with his wife claire, and two kids Anwon and Rhyes. 8 and 5 years old. realy fun kids too. They'v generously taken me in, as my connection fell through at the last minute, and now that I have re-established it, I don't want to leave... but I will, I'll get out of their hair in a few days. In the mean time, I'm enjoying their food, conversation, art, music, kids, and extra bed... what more could I ask? oh right, claire lent me her ancient falling apart cruiser bike, which I have been rolling about on feeling dandy to be on a bike at all. Hooking up with dave and paul turned out to be easier than I had though. I was sitting in a cafe here called the spill, having lunch and hearing about shows around town, (as well as getting one (?) hopefully anyhow with dave. and they walked past the door. crazy boys, they'd lost my number and had decided to wander around town yelling for me... it worked. So I'v spent two days catching up with them, and playing music (all day today with only a brief break of coffee.) and it's not for sure, but sounds like I'll be on dave's new record. In other words... WAHOOOO! hehe. I spent today in a tree over the river, watching turtles eat and fish flutter about, jamming and talking with dave. it's been fun. hope your all keeping well, hope you'v got sun still. love-
moi (if you say it right it doubles as a kiss...)
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12:20am 14/09/2006
mood: relieved
connection made! place to stay! 
whew, that made a difference to my shoulder muscles... kinda last minute, as I'd have had to have chosen where I was going tomorrow morning, and I hadn't a place to stay where I was hopin. but it is all better! as some might say. yussssss!
04:10pm 12/09/2006
mood: anticapation
once again in pembroke. (the one place with a computer). It's a quarter past 4, and I havn't eaten in a few hours. but I'm much to lazy to fetch anything from the kitchen.  I leave the day after tomorrow for peterborough, where my parents are abandoning me. I'll probably spend a week there if I can stretch my moula that far... I'm looking forward to not moving for a while. It's been back and forth, back and forth between here and ottawa, and montreal.... too much driving and getting confused between places and times. I'll be in a place where I don't know anyone ( I think) and I can choose to meet people if I want, or I can stay wrapped up in my head and wander around looking lost, as I will be lost. I don't even have a real map! well, I think I might get one of those. I own a guitar from peterborough. and a guitar case... the case even says peterbrough on it. and I think maybe the guitar too.. though I have never set foot in the place. It better be nice. haha!... 
I miss the ocean though, and my cat. mostly those two things. I start missing the land about a month after being away from it. the people stay in contact usual so they never seem too far away. I miss working though. the callouses from al the gadgets there are going away.  I hope your all keeping well.
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sould searching   
11:36pm 06/09/2006
mood: introspeculative
this morning I worke up on the floor of a tiny apartment in montreal. I was on the third floor, right by a miny balcony and I stepped out and looked down to see little jewish children wearing all black and with their hair on the sides done in that way. what a peculiar morning. the apartment was Martha Chodat's, an old freind of my dad's from way back when. I'm hoping to stay with her a bit later, either on my way to halifax or on my way back down.
the stories continue to unfold and appear, but it's approaching midnight here, so I'm not going to say much. today I had my first real pangs of homesickness, so I'm thinking of all of you guys. I can't smell the ocean, and it's driving me insane.
All the time has been good for me though. I was feeling cluttered at home, like i couldn't really clear the air and look around. this trip is more about me, and figuring myself out then it is about this place.  
It feels like theres a lot inside me right now, and I havn't had time to sort through it. so I'm delving in with a pitchfork, (hopefuly I don't pierce any vital arteries or anything...) anyhow. i'll talk to you all soon... o'mally out!
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03:06pm 03/09/2006
mood: relaxed
whew. what a family... last night was another roof rabbit house concert, this one held at my aunt Kirstie's cottage, which is pretty incredible in itself. Right on the river, made out of logs, and wood heated, one of the nicest places around for sure. The concert wetn well as usual, Jamie R T from Victoria played some tunes with the lads, as well as this guy Brian who we met in fiddle park the other day. Quite a raucous crowd (them being grays and all)... By the end of the concert it was mostly a party, slowly the invites filtered off, leaving mostly relatives and a few old school freinds of dad's. There were the older generation gray's, led of course by Nana Gray, and three of her children, my dad, my aunt kirstie, and aunt jane, followed by my aunt kirstie's partner: JanEY (not to be confused with Jane) and her decendent Trisha (around 30 somewhere,) and her partner russell, then theres Rebecca who is my OTHER aunt, Corrine's daughter, and her husband Rob, then there was Janie's other kid's best friend luke even though her kid sean wasn't there... THEN, theres my aunt Janes son simon who's birthday it is today, he's 15, and Adam and I, and my mom and jude.... I think that was all that was there, oh, and jon, janes current partner. CaRaZzZzZzY! 
so, there was all the usualy kerphufle, drinking, lot's and lot's of drinking, rob was making margarita's in a blender outside in the rain, lot's of wine, and a fridge full of beer. Lots of debates about hte maning and pronunciation of words like 'buried', is it said bUrried? or bErried...? after some shouting, some stomping, some laughing, some crying, some passing out, some falling over... it had trickled down to just our family jude, nana, kirstie and janey, we played some music, ani tunes at kirstie's request, then mom and dad took nana home, leaving jude adam kirstie and i to squable over couches by the fire, we played some more tunes, as we settled deeper and deeper into chairs and couches, (they'v got those ones that just sorta seem to envelope you and won't let go) it was nice, I slept on the big couch in the living room with tom waits Heart of Saturday Night on the record player, drifitng off by the river... pretty nice. anyhow, today's the last day of fiddle fest and I think we're gonna go for some fergie's fries as well, email me folks!
needle and the driving done   
08:28pm 31/08/2006
mood: driven

my grandmothers clock just struck 8 30, which means it's 5 30 back home. I'd just be getting off work probably; how strange.
So today we drove from thessalon, (near saulte st. marie) to pembroke, (near ottawa) the day before we drove from red rock (near thunder bay) to thessalon... the day before we were in winnipeg. Some of my family is sitting in the morning room behind me, I can hear their murmering, it could aaalmost sound like a stream. what I wouldn't give for some ocean... If I weren't making it up to the east coast, I think I'd suffacate. maybe I'm a fish. Last night we were on lake huron, pretty spectacular, but no salt, and no breeze, and no infinite skyline; we left that in the prairies.  plus the highway was within sight and sound. The motel we stayed in was in a little dip, not quite a valley, but a substantial dip, so the trucks would gear way down coming in and all you would hear would be squealing brakes for a minute, then there'd be a gear shift, cachunk, and up they'd go, reving and shifting the whole way.
It's pretty different out here, all the towns are malls, even the little ones, infact, especialy the little ones, that's all they are, one big mall. like mini clagary's placed randomly along highway 1. and then theres my family. maybe I won't go too far into that. their stranger than the ones out west, and theres more of them. right now it's just us, my dad's mom, my aunt jane, (her son (my cousing) left) and her boyfreind jon. tomorrow it should be calm, (sortof) and then the hordes hit. I have 4 more aunts, three of htem blood related, and two more uncles, neither of them blood related (you do the math). also a cousin rebecca, and her new husband in their new house, a cousin kelly, one kiersten, one alexandra and her husband and two kids.... I could go on but my mind is hurting and I'm getting nervous. Let's just say, if any of you know my dad, even HE ran away from these guys, as far as you can while still being in this country.  
The real travelling starts fairly soon, or I suppose in about a month, I'm looking forward to some time alone. hope your all keeping well.

07:11pm 26/08/2006
mood: sore
ahhhhhhhhhhh, it feels sooooooooo good to stand. I'm in calgary alberta, or as I prefer to refer: cagray belarta... It's been three days of driving mostly, I left vicy on wednsday afternoon 'round 'bout 5:30, and arrived at ubc at 11:15. next mornign at 9 we was on the road, grand forks on thursday night, stayed with a freind of ours paul crawford, who is one of the organizers for possibly THE BEST music festival EVER. (artswells) he's pretty funny, stayed up late talkin about music and books and poets and art and auctions and things... we were on the road at 7 am, (can you imagine?! adam iredale, jennifer Iredale, peter gray, jude pelley and myself, up at 6 am?) it wasn't pretty, and it didn't smell good neither. we were in fort steele outside of cranbrook by 12, where mom put in a couple hours of monitering work which afforded us free gas and a place to stay that night on the government. we stayed in fernie. wierd place like everywhere else. on the road at 8 this morning, stopped in longview alberta, (ian tyson's town basicaly) for coffee, and were in a mall somewhere in calgary by 1. Adam and jude led a session in a pub which I got kicked out of some point along the way. I found meself a nice coffee shop though, (it being in my blood and all after a year at solstice) hung out there for 3 hours! shit, it was long. but I had music and journal and finished two books (yes shelder, if you read this, I finished gilbert grape, and am gonna send it back with the parentines when they go). Jude and adam are playing another gig tonight in the pub that's part of the Sheraton Hotel. HA! can't really picture that either. way way way to shwanky for us. Tomorrow we're driving 7 hours to moose jaw, then another 6 the next day to winnipeg, I'm not sure after that.
Also, in fort steele we say possibly the best short film I have ever seen. there was this play, and within it the actors made movies, and one of them was fuckin creepy, we asked about it later and apparently it was made by a guy (whose name I stupidly forget) who does lots of stuff for the vancouver fringe festival. anyhow, it featured a clown, with a wig that twitched, a woman who held in her arms at different times a doll, a sack of flower, a wooden donkey and a pie. which ended up in the clowns face... nevermind... CONSEQUENTLY! when we arrived in clagary at the pub, there was a clown convention going on... strange things in this town. I'll be in Ottowa by the 4th or 5th of september, so if you email me I'll get back to you then if not before. a tip o' the fedora to y'all.
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goin away ta leave ya   
11:44pm 23/08/2006
mood: transiant like hippy

I'm goin away to leave ya, gonna leave you in disgrace, got nothing in my favour got the windin my face! over the hill!! hey hey-ey over the hill.... ladida, been singin that all day. 
righto, so I'm off, I'm gone already infact, I left victoria t 5:30 this afternoon, and it is now 11:47 and I'm at my dear oll' grans house waiting for adam to finish brushing his teeth so I may follow his example.
I'll be gone from now till sometime late october or novermber sometime, if you want ot email me, any of you, you may feel free, and if I get a chance to use a computer I will write back and tell you all about things like misadventures and the opposite of mis, but still adventures, in fact! please please please write to me, I'll be missing you all... love

p.s. if you want to comment with and or email me your postal address's I promise to sen at least one postcard.

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09:00pm 09/07/2006
mood: satisfied and sad

folkfest is over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's almost like death. good thing theres vancouver version next weekend, infact, I'll be in vancouver on wednsday night, so if anyone wants to do anything with me on thursday you should call or email me, it'll be me hannah and lauryn morley. wahoo! 
Also the vancouver band Mother is really cool. Just saw them tonight at the bayou barge. too bad the venue sucks. They did a cover of between the bars ( taylor, you  would have died of happiness). I bought their cd, hope it's as good as they were live, probably won't be.
Went to moss's place last night after folk fest and ended up playing music till the wee hours. twas fun twas fun. 

I can't beleive I'm not having anymore fudge! for a whole year. funked. harhar, juils or laura, I might go see pirates tomorrow without you, cause your not here. and it is very sad. but what else can I do?!?!?!  that is all!

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